"Don't try and make a man see your point of view, when he has turned his back on you.You are bound to look in different direction!"
Looking in different directions:how fatal is that to your relationship? Does a relationship grow only if two people are of the same mindset, of the same likes and dislikes? What happens when you realise that your friends, spouse or colleague have a view point which doesnt snuggly align with yours? And what happens, when it addition to having conflicting view points, they turn their back on you, shut their ears, close their minds and grow distant? Most importantly, how do you resolve such a situation? Whats your resolution mechanism?
I have been in "confilcting views" spot many a times in my life and I have had a variety of "resolution mechanisms" for such situations. Sometimes, I have walked out of it not giving two hoots to other person's point of view(and that sure must have added a few members in my hate club), sometimes I have battled my arguments and turned their backs to my side, and many a times I have turned myself into their direction and tried to understand their point of view. Trust me, of all of these the toughest one is to turn the backs to your side. Its almost like talking to a wall. And talks dont move walls forget turning them a whole 180 degrees! On the other hand, the easiest way was to walk out on such arguments, but the easiest way often is the most expensive one too! In doing so, I have lost friends and more importantly my faith in keeping a relationship going in the face of adversities. I kind of liked the part where I could keep flexibility and understand someone else's point of view because that taught me to understand different view points.But in doing so, I realised that often times when you show flexibility people misconstruct you to be spineless too!Outside these three resolution mechanism, I am yet to find a way which I call the middle ground. I believe in the wisdom of crowd. And so I would want to be enriched by your experiences in tackling such situations and learn from you. Please leave any relevant comments , suggestions or experiences.
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2 comments:
Sometimes people already know their priorities and like u said u cant turn their backs towards you. sometimes you shouldnt. we shouldnt try n chisel others into our life. learning to adapt and let go when necessary is quite important. esp dealing with issues/factors that are not in your control. my 2 cents from a recent experience.
@ Aaditya: Thanks aaditya. I understand that moulding otheres into our lives is not a way to go, but often times we find ourselves in spots where it becomes necessary to blunt some edges to fit in better. And even though what you say makes a lot of sense to me yet sometimes it is much much easier said than done! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
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