Facts or Mindset: Your Pick?

Many of you were amazed to see a different side of me (I mean the ones who know me) and to be honest I was just as surprised. Funnily, life has been like a pendulum the last few weeks, taking me from one extremity to other and while I was enjoying that crazy, nerve-wrecking ride I penned my thoughts for the records. In all this mayhem the most interesting thing was the approach I took to deal with so many things which were happening too soon and were just as important. Everything around me was so overwhelming, that I decided to draw away from it and decided to be a spectator of my own life! Being an outsider to my own life did wonders to me. It gave me amazing insight to the person I have been living with all my life. It amused me, bewildered me, and upset me all in the same breath. Amused because of the foolish notions we carry about our own selves. Bewildered because I realized how clueless I was about my own self, and upset because I wasted so many precious years working on the wrong person! And then I thought that if this could happen to me it sure could happen to so many others too. Maybe many of us are living in a make belief world, a safe cocoon created by our mind which believes in what it wants to believe regardless of whether it is true or not! In my efforts to try to be a better person I realized that I ended up being the same person but with a different notion about myself. Scary, ain't it?

Let me tell you where and how it all started: Many years back I was doing a self assessment in preparation for an important interview. In the process I jotted down my strengths and weakness on a piece of paper. On figuring out what I constructed as my weakness then, I started working on it. And yea, though I didn't clear that interview but I did get an insight into my self: my strengths and weakness. Many many years later they were put on a real life test. Outcome: I found that I was still the same person I was with just a few changes here and there. I could change some of my habits but I could not change the person I really am! So, if I was ruthless I would be ruthless or if I have always been an emotional fool I would continue to be so. What I did change was the magnitude or the frequency! I could tone it down but I couldn't wipe it off. Also what I perceived as a change in so many situations was a temporary situation in a safer world where nothing really goes wrong! It was like a child learning a poem, being able to recite it to his parents but when its time to get on the stage and recite it in front of a hall full of audience he forgets the words!

But like on everything else in this case too not everyone is alike. Some of us can actually remember what to say when it needs to be said. And then there are some like me who would just mumble! Anyways getting back to the topic: Some of us can change everything and some of us change only our mindsets. I realized that I belong to the later. Often changing mind set is the first step to changing things around and within you. But then there are times when all you end up with is a changed mind set and not the person you wanted to be. This often leads to a terrible misalignment of the fact with the perception!And then, when you are faced with an untowardly situations in life and you look within you to draw from your strengths to face the challenges, you realize that nothing has changed! You still are the same person. All the resolution and defense mechanism that you built was for the person you so wanted to be but unfortunately are not! And hence those mechanisms are of no use. To make matters worse, in the eagerness to disown your weakness you realize that you have forgotten how to deal with them! So what should we do? Live with our weakness for the rest of our lives or find mechanisms that are tailored for our intrinsic nature?

I was in such a spot very recently and though I don't have the "right" answer for it, here is my two cents on it: Accept your weakness and know that they are a part of you. Realize that some things can be changed and some things can't. Also realize that though there are morale boosters like "nothing is impossible or where there is a will there is a way..etc." not every one can work hard enough, or keep enough perseverance, or fight hard enough to make things work for him. We are limited by our potentials. There is a cap on our limitations. But thats not the sad news. The sad news is that we under live those potentials and achieve way lesser than what we can! You and me despite our limited talents can achieve a lot more than what we have. But before any of that happens it is important to accept yourself the way you are and appreciate what you see. To be a perfectionist, strong, courageous or hardworking person is a desirable thing, but to acknowledge whether you would be happy being them is more important. More importantly WHY you want to be that and IF you want to be that at all. More important that changing your weakness is acknowledging them and learning to live with them. And who knows what you consider as a weakness might not even be one or with due strategies can be changed into your advantage. How you want to play the game is your choice, but before you play it know the player and know the rules! Accept the person you are and then try to be what you want to be.

I am sure many of you would differ on what I say or some may concur. I would love to hear your view points and thats precisely the reason why I am getting my thoughts on a public platform. So go ahead and jot down what ever you deem right.