My Happiness: its not someone else's perception!

I was taking a walk down the memory lane and was thinking of the so many happy moments and the not so happy ones too, to find a key to what happiness means to me. To know what I am looking for, to know who I am and what is the big deal with my so many expectations and such little ways to fulfill them.

I thought maybe all of us need to do that soul searching once in a while to get in touch with our true selves and not the person we project to be. Surprisingly, for a person who wants so much from life, I realized how little do I need to make me happy. I guess, everything else is to "show" that I am a happy being. All this walk into my past was to know why am I still so uncontent with the way things are, when the truth is that when I was 16 all I ever wanted to be is what I am today! And maybe that is because somewhere I don't even know what makes me happy. I live by the notion of happiness, believing my moments of happiness are what the rest of the world perceives. But their perception doesn't help me, rather it makes me miserable. I realize what I want is maybe way lesser than what I go for. Here are a couple of recollection of my happy moments in the recent past:

The other day I went to a park and my attention was caught by a white fluffy dog playing with a dog much bigger than it. There was something very endearing about the white fluffy dog, and somehow its moment of joy made me happy. A little while later the white fluffy dog went around to play with a much smaller dog and that too was a joyful sight. I stood there watching the dogs play and realised that I have not been so elated, content and happy in a long time. And it wasn't just me grinning away to glory, I saw lots of us doing the same. Total captured by the moment created by two playful dogs. To see simple living creatures deriving their pleasures out of the mundane things made me so envious. For once, I hated the fact that we weren't still hanging from the trees!

One of the other days, when I wasn't feeling too great I went out for a dinner with my room mate. Later we decided to go back to school and work for a few hours. All pepped up about working late night, I ended up in her department, and spent the rest of the night talking about so many things. Despite being in the same house, we did loose touch with each other's lives because there was so much going on with us. It came as an extremely happy surprise to know that we could pick up our threads from where we left, have a conversation, share our pieces of mind and bask in the warmth of our friendship. That was a real joy to me. A harmless conversation which went way beyond our intentions of working hard made me happy! Ofcourse, the next day we were both slogging ourselves to meet the deadline, yet the conversation was worth the pain and much more.

Let me add this third one: One of my most memorable and peaceful moment was that one starry night in one of the beaches when I looked up and realised that I hadn't seen so many stars in such a long time! And as if to make me feel like the angels were smiling down on me, I saw a star falling. There was something about that one moment, the tranquility, the peace, the hushing of the waves or the soothing breeze which just planted that moment in my mind. And as I type this, I just noticed I am smiling!

So, as you wind up reading this long blog: "Close your eyes, think of the moment which made you the happiest, and smile..."

I would love to know what happy memories this blog reminded you of, if only you are willing to share....